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I Don’t Want to be a Mean Christian


The other day I was browsing Facebook and stumbled upon a heated exchange between two men. It seemed to be a debate about baptism, but I really couldn’t tell between all the insults, scripture quoting and mudslinging. The argument actually started off as an agreement, then ended with one man calling the other a demon possessed, false-doctrine spreading heretic. It was one of the most brutal verbal attacks I’ve ever read.

Did I mention these two men were “Christians”?

My pastor (and his pastor) often ask the question, “If we’re Christians, the people that have received the love of Christ and gotten a new lease on life, why are we the ones always walking around mad and frowning?”

Good question. Why are Christians so mean? Why are we so depressed? Why are we so judgmental? I don’t know the answer to those questions. Maybe it comes from comparing ourselves to others, then coming up short and bringing everyone else down to make ourselves feel better. Maybe it stems from a Pharisee-like pride, looking down at everyone else but never taking the time to get real with ourselves. Maybe it comes from becoming too comfortable and forgetting where we came from.

How is it so easy for us to point out another person’s sin, but not our own? OH, SHE’S A FILTHY PROSTITUTE! Yeah, I’m pretty sure she knows her occupation. I’m also pretty sure she’s not happy with what she does. But does she really need you to point it out? Does she really need you to judge and condemn her? Wouldn’t it be better for you, a person who holds the light of the Gospel, to offer her a better way to live? To share a bit of the truth that set YOU free from whatever sin YOU used to be involved in?

BUT HE’S AN ADULTERER! WE MUST CALL OUT SIN! Oh, really? Jesus gave you personal instructions to embarrass this man and his family by gossiping about them all over town, church, and the internet? I think not.

WELL HOW ABOUT HER SHORT SKIRT IN CHURCH?! SURELY THAT IS WORTH POINTING OUT TO HER! But she’s in church, isn’t she? Why isn’t that good enough? Perhaps that’s the only thing she had to wear. Or maybe she has low self-esteem and dresses that way to gain attention. Maybe she’s simply proud of her body and feels comfortable dressing that way. Either way, why do you feel the need to embarrass her by speaking to her about something that is none of your business to start with?

You never saw Jesus condemn anyone in the Bible…. except the religious people.

Now, I’m not saying it’s okay to go buck wild, wandering all around sinning and running a muck. I’m not saying “do what feels good, Jesus doesn’t care LOL!”

What I am saying is that Christians have forgotten about grace. We’ve either become extremely lackadaisical, watering down the Gospel just to stay relevant, or we’ve become so cold that we are freezing out the very people that God has called us to help.

The thing is, grace doesn’t provide a license to sin, it provides a way out of sin. Grace provides motivation to live a holy lifestyle. That’s something that the hemline police and the finger-pointing, church-going, bible-reading, long-praying, Facebook-arguing “Christians” of the world cannot do.

Hear this: your condemnation will NEVER produce holiness in your life or anyone else’s.

We are so quick to “witness” to someone who looks clean cut, friendly and is already wearing a cross, but so stand offish, callous and cold to anyone else.

I am a youth minister and am very active in my church. But more importantly, I just love Jesus and want Him to be pleased with my life. When I worked in retail, I constantly had judgmental Christians “Witnessing” to me. They’d preach sermons in my check-out line, expound to me the scriptures and how he needed to be first in my life…never even giving me a chance to tell them he already is. And when I would finally have a moment to tell them I’m already “saved”, they would look at me, questioning me with their eyes, and finish with something like “are you sure?”

I get it guys. We want to win the whole world over for Jesus. But we’re not gonna do it like that. We’re not going to win people to Jesus by making him seem like a grumpy old man who hates everything and everyone. Don’t you realize that you might be the only Jesus someone sees today? You could be the only representation of God’s love and grace someone sees in their entire life. Do you really want that to occur on the day you decide to act like a jerk?

Jesus said in Matthew 7:1-2,

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Wait..what? You mean if I call some girl in a short skirt a slut, God sees slut written all over me? You mean if I say that someone is stupid or going to hell, God is obligated to see hell written all over me? And with the same ferocity I attack someone, that level of judgement is intended for me?

Exactly. That’s why Christ is the righteous judge, not you. Not me. Not we.

Think about every single thing you’ve ever said about another person. Think about every time you’ve given an unintentional dirty look to a person you know who has a problem with a specific sin. Think about every time you pulled away from a person who smelled bad, or every time you ignored a shady looking person who said hello.

Do you want to receive that same type of treatment from God? I know I sure don’t. Would you want God to call you the same names you’ve called others? Would you want to make it to the pearly gates and hear your heavenly father say, “well, ya know, Karen, I’d love to let you in, but I just don’t trust people with your skin color, so I’ll pass.”

Words matter. People matter.

Now, if you see something sinful, like homosexuality, drug dealing or stealing, you don’t have to go along with it. In fact, the apostle Paul sternly warned believers to stay away from other believers who engaged in sinful behavior. But he never said to condemn them.

The bottom line is, it’s not your job to be God’s policeman. It’s your job to LOVE people. Period.

Romans 2:4 (NLT) says this:

Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?

Did you just read that? God’s KINDNESS turns us from sin. Not condemnation. Not a long list of wrongs replayed and recounted for us over and over. Not mean looks and sideways glances. Not impassioned, well-crafted speeches. Not carefully place shared facebook or instagram posts about salvation. Not scare tactics.


A smile. A wave. A simple, “God bless you.” A Christmas gift for someone you really don’t know that well. An invitation to lunch. A long phone call. Listening when someone speaks. Helping someone pick something up when they’ve dropped it. A compliment. A heartfelt and sincere, “I’m sorry.” A prayer without advertisement. An invitation to church without shame. Picking up the tab without expecting reimbursement. A handkerchief or tissue. A shoulder to cry on.

We are God’s people. We bear his name and we carry this treasure of the Gospel, this light inside of us. Yet we are constantly doling out condemnation instead of hope, dread instead of joy, fear instead of love.

The more I see as I take my journey into ministry is the amount of meanness being expressed by some Christians. We argue every chance we get, we’re afraid of change and rebel against authority, we’re critical and way too used to getting things our own way. We’ve become numb to God’s grace because we’ve been spoiled by it, so when it comes time to give it out, we offer nothing but hate instead.

“Christian” and “mean” should never be in the same sentence. Remember the grace that it took to save you out of the mess you were once in, and use that same grace to lift someone else out of the mess they are in.

Remember that your life is only worth as much as the person you’re condemning.

I don’t want to be a mean Christian. I don’t want to pass judgement on strangers and have critical thoughts about everyone and everything I see, read and experience. I don’t want to pass dirty looks out instead of smiles. I don’t want to make anyone feel like they’re worthless. I don’t want to embarrass anyone. I don’t want to assume things about someone based on their appearance. I don’t want to ignore someone when they say hello simply because I’m “afraid” of them. I don’t want to ignore someone in need just because they don’t look like me. I don’t ever want to feel like I’m better than someone else. And I don’t ever want to be mean.

The American Missionary


Dear Christians:
Your mission field is America. I realize that this may not be welcomed by some. Because it is much easier, tempting, and fulfilling, to catch a plane or bus to some foriegn land and teach destitute people about Jesus. Somehow, it is more convienient to book a mission trip to some 3rd world African nation and bring the Gospel to the hungry masses of people who have never heard the Gospel. It’s easier for us, and way more glamorous to say “Oh, I witnessed to 13,000 Swahili speaking unsaved people” than to say, “I witnessed to my boss at work.” It’s much more thrilling to spend $40 to donate a goat to a child’s family in Guatamala, than it is to buy a $10 Bible and $12 lunch, and give it to a struggling homeless person. Or even more difficult, spend some time getting to know that person. We modern day Christians have decided to take the easy road.

Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t do foreign missions. After all, the Bible does say that we should preach the Gospel to EVERYONE, everywhere. But it’s a cop-out for some of us. For those of us who are not CALLED to do missions overseas (i.e., God has not assigned you to the foriegn mission field), it is very glittery and glamorous to do overseas missions. It’s cool to take a sabbatical from work and visit orphans in Honduras. It’s the “hipster Christian” thing to do to go to Israel and study abroad for a year. It’s the “sacrificial” and “noble” thing to sell everything you have and move to Etheopia to work with sick people who need Jesus. And that is a noble work. It is noble, necessary, and rightfully commended. But you have to be called for it.

You, as a modern American, who is a Christian, cannot decide to get into foriegn missions because it is easier. We as Christians are attracted to overseas missions because it is an “easy sell”. We know that all we’ve got to do is show up in some small villiage in Asia with clean water, some food, clothing, and tell them Jesus loves them, and BAM! We’ve got converts. As I said before, this kind of missionary work is necesarry, comendable, and wonderful. But not everyone of us is called to do that. Who will stay here? Who will do missionary work right here in America? No, we don’t want to do that. That isn’t fun. That doesn’t stamp our passports or give us cute stories to tell about orphans we’ve befriended and miracle healings we’ve seen take place in rural underground churches. That doesn’t get us featured in Voice of the Martyrs or profiled on the 700 Club.

We modern Christians want our conversions the way we want our food: fast. We want the glamerous, gritty, easy conversions that come from people who have never heard the Gospel or seen it in action. We don’t want to mess with the backsliders, the athiests, agnostics, LGBT, Wiccan or spiritual crowds. We don’t want to get our hands dirty spiritually; we’d rather get our hands dirty physically. It scares us to think about witnessing to those who know the bible. It scares to witness to the logical, scientific crowd. It frustrates us to witness to those who already say they’re Christians but their lives say otherwise. We’re afraid of rejection. We’re afraid that, perhaps we aren’t as strong in our faith as we think we are. We’re afraid to rock the boat. We’re afraid to be politically incorrect. We’re afraid to stand for holiness.

We’ll picket abortion clinics, sponsor a child for $0.50 a day, but we won’t invite our neighbors to church for fear of rejection. Because maybe we’ll discover that the America we complain about, is the result of our inactivity. Maybe we’ll discover that the immorality in America wasn’t caused by Bush 1 or 2. Or even Obama. Or Harry Reid. Or the Clintons. Or CNN. Or even by the LGBT groups. Or by SuperPacs. Or by the super-ultra rich. Maybe if we stay here and work in our own mission field, we’ll discover that the decline in America didn’t come from the sinners and nonbelievers – it came from believers doing nothing. Passive, wimpy, whiny, materialistic, uncaring, scared believers sitting back on church pews doing NOTHING.

Pastors and missionaries like Saeed Abindini, have been called to reach those overseas. Ministries like Gospel for Asia have been assigned to those regions by God. Does this mean that I can’t help because I’m American? No! Go where you are called. But know that you have a mission field HERE. If all of us Christians get bit by the foriegn missions bug and run overseas, who will preach the Gospel here? Who will show the love of Christ here? Who will reach the weak and the hurting here?

American Christian, don’t glamorize foreign missions and run away to an “easy sell”. Stay here. Witness here. Stand up here. Show Jesus here. It’s hard. The people in America now are desentitized to violence. They’re know-it-alls. They’re more concerned about science, paychecks, and social media than they are about their eternal souls. You will meet opposition. In that aspect, I guess American missions aren’t for every Christian. Your skin may not be tough enough. You will face those who challenge your faith deeper and more harshly than you ever thought imaginable. You will see seemingly-convincing arguments as to why your faith may not be grounded. You will meet violence and irrational behavior from those who claim to be Christians themselves. You will face opposition to everything you say from the media, culture, celebrities, and politics. You will be the voice of one crying in the wilderness, saying, “Jesus is coming! This is the right way! Don’t listen to the lies of society!” And everything that you are saying will be followed with a thousand other voices saying “Jesus was only a man! There is no right way! Don’t listen to the lies of religious windbags!” But you must continue to cry out anyway.

These are people who are choosing to not believe. These are people who are faithless. Those who have tried and failed to establish a connection with God on their own. They are hurt, numb, and stubborn. They’re not stranded in some remote villiage. They’ve got access to technology, research, churches and resources galore. And they’ve chosen not to believe, or perhaps never had the courage to faith. We get scared of that. We watch TV and say “what is this world coming to?” We see news stories and say “if they would just get saved this world would get better”. We watch politicians and say “we need to be one nation under God again”.

Modern American Christians are scared to fight the good fight. We want people to come to us, or we want to push them into salvation. We want to used-car-salesman talk people into Christ. We want to sit back, and wait for the church to be filled. We want to do one door-to-door witness a year and pat ourselves on the back. We think missionary work is an event based work! We think witnessing is something we have to set up an outreach or date and time for!

We’re afraid that we are outnumbered; we are doubtful, weak and timid. This is not our upbringing. Christ was fierce, educated, insightful, wise, well spoken, convincing, genuine, powerful, loving, and generous. We must be the same to persuade this country to see Jesus again.

I have learned, as a modern American Christian, that my job is not to argue. As tempting as it may be to argue with a non-believer, whip out my apologetics books, research everything I can on intelligent design, and try to present evidence for the existence of my Lord, that is not my job. My job is to BECOME evidence. My job is to represent Christ to everyone. Everywhere. All the time.

We’re intimidated and frustrated by other people who claim to be Christians, but don’t act like Christ. We’re afraid to be offensive. “They say they know the Lord so what else can I say..” Our biggest trump card is to invite them to OUR church and hope that OUR church can teach them the right way, because, obviously, according to what we can tell, they aren’t really Christian.
As tempting as it is to argue and fuss, even walk away from, those who claim to be Christians but are anything but, it is not my job to do so. It is my job to be an example, to demonstrate Christ correctly, and allow the Spirit to convict that person. It is not my job to brow-beat, criticize, condemn, hurt, maime, or scar another person emotionally or spiritually to get them to “act” Christian…like me.

NEWSFLASH: Their relationship with God isn’t supposed to look like yours anyway. It’s supposed to look like Christ.

Another note: being an American missionary doesn’t always mean preaching from a pulpit. It doesn’t mean you bouncing from church to church recruiting other Christians to come to your church. It doesn’t mean posting witty things and scriptures on facebook. It doesn’t mean saying “God bless you” when someone sneezes in the Walmart check out line. It doesn’t mean wearing Christian tshirts, hats, bracelets, temporary tattoos, bumperstickers, putting up billboards, or owning every copy of every bible translation ever written.

The American Mission Field is tumultous. It’s hard. It’s gritty. It requires fighting…spiritual warfare. It requires love. SO MUCH love. It requires patience. It doesn’t require money. It doesn’t require a passport. It doesn’t require print materials. It doesn’t require bible college or a tetnus shot. It doesn’t require elaborate churches with massive stage performances.

You want to know what it takes to win America for Christ? You really want to know what it would take for this nation to become one under God? You really want someone to stand up and put an end to the godlessness of America?

I can tell you in one very short sentence what it takes to win the mission field of America.

Every person who claims to be a Christian, acting like Christ, all the time.

If every person who claims to be a Christian in America begins to mold their lives to look like Christ, not just on Sundays, but every day, you would see people saved, you would see change, you would see peace, you would see deliverance. You would see full churches and empty rehab facilities. You would see demons flee, healings, faith increased, homosexual desires dissapear, poverty and hunger destroyed.

You never once saw the Apostles put on fancy shows. You didn’t see them making elaborate arguments (although they did debate, when necessary). You didn’t see them picketing bars and hollering slurs at homosexuals and arguing with each other over trivial doctrinal issues. What did you see them do? They united. They prayed. They fasted. They studied God’s word. They showed love to people. They taught. They lived what they spoke. They were genuine, real, loving, giving, honest, caring, and blunt. They had wisdom, they knew when to keep their mouths shut and when to speak. And you know what else? They were filled with the Holy Spirit and demonstrated his power daily.

You want to know how to turn America around? Get out there and act like Jesus.

the one

Defaming “The One”


I’m pretty sure if you’ve been unintentionally single for any period of time, you’ve formulated a list of the qualities you expect from “The One”. You’ve charted and categorized, and if you’re like me, planned your whole life with “The One.” The only problem with this is, you have no clue who “The One” is.

I don’t know where the idea for this all-powerful, life-perfecting, knight-in-shining armor, gossamer curtain princess, fix-everything-fill-every-hole-in-my-life-give-me-meaning-and-purpose-and-joy concept came from (maybe Song of Solomon 3:4 was taken out of context?), but let me be clear: being in a relationship, even with “The One”, will not perfect your life. It will not instantly make everything easy and wonderful, and no, it will not make life a bowl full of cherries. You will not suddenly transport to 1945, wearing a polka-dotted dress, Alice-in-Wonderland style. You will not be instantaneously beamed into the passenger’s seat of his Packard and drive off into the sunset.

We place all of this value on a relationship, like it’s a cure all for the humdrum of single life. Three things I’ve heard this past week have sparked a renewed comfort in singleness for me, and shocked me back into the reality that a boyfriend will not fix my life. Those statements alone have sent me into a mental Cirque De Soleil routine, re-examining my entire desire for male companionship.

1. “For some of us, God gave the gift of singleness.”

First off, I have never heard of singleness being a gift. I always knew that there were certain benefits to being single, (more time with God, selfish ice cream binges on the couch Saturday afternoons, watching whatever you want on TV, going extended periods of time without shaving…) but I never thought of singleness as a gift. It was always a waiting room to this great life that I thought I needed a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband to start. And my great wonderful life that I had planned would NEVER start until I got that person…until I found “The One”. Read more about that below…

2. “Do you want a wedding, or do you want a marriage?”

This second comment hit me straight to my core, just like I got slapped in the face with the gorgeous Vera Wang bridal gown I had already picked out and bookmarked.. A marriage is an entirely different deal than a wedding. A wedding is a party. You can have a party without lifelong commitment, steadfastness, support, sacrifice, and trouble. But you can’t have a marriage without those things. A marriage is a God-run major LIFETIME commitment to another person, and to God. The purpose of marriage, other than to provide companionship (which God was so gracious to consider in his plan) is to mirror God’s relationship with the church.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Ladies: Submit, trust, obey, reverence your husband.

Men: Wash your wife with the Word, follow Christ so she can be led by you, love her the same as yourself, cherish her, and nourish her.

Notice how God picked the hardest tasks in marriage; the ones that are completely opposite of each sex’s nature. A woman’s nature is to love and cherish, but God asks the man to do that. The man’s nature is to serve and work, and reverence, but the woman is asked to do that.

This is a huge task. Reflecting God’s love for his people in your every day life with your spouse, even when you really want to make him sleep on the couch because he accidently insulted your thighs and the children are screaming for a juice cup and you have a stack of dishes to the ceiling…

Protecting, serving, sacrificing, building your husband up in the Word of God and giving him the reassurance he needs to lead your family, allowing him to love you and cherish you without trying to rule over him, trusting in God and rejoicing in the simple victories of life, sharing your lives together freely without worry of rejection…That is marriage.

Where is the cute proposal and the perfect engagement pictures? Where is the excitement of picking out wedding bands and calling each other “Mrs.”/”Mr.”? Where are the perfectly organized centerpieces? The handwritten place cards? The cute chalkboard wall in the home-made photo booth? The 150+1 guests? The dance floor lit up till 2 AM and the laughter of friends and family? That was a wedding. The luster of that has faded. Now it’s marriage.

If you have any doubt you’re ready for such a huge commitment, I’d say throw yourself a party, cause you’re not ready for marriage. You’re ready for a wedding.

I don’t say this to scare you, because marriage is a beautiful and sacred thing, and its amazing…when you’re spiritually and emotionally prepared for it. We single people get so caught up in finding “The One”, the missing half, the completion to all things good and right in the world, the smile that will turn our frown upside down, the macaroni to our cheese, the sunshine for our rainy days — that we miss the point. It’s not about some perfect life that will start with the perfect person at the perfect time, it’s about being in love with Jesus at every stage, single or not. Putting him first above all else and abandoning everything in search of him. “The One” is mythical. But The One exists. His name is Jesus.

Singleness is a gift. It means that God has granted you a pre-determined allotted amount of time to share with him and only him, until he decides to send a person to share that time with you two. And who God allows to share his time with you is a sacred, holy, and all together beautiful decision he makes. HE makes. Not you. But he doesn’t bring this person into your life to steal away a portion of your time, but rather to enhance your time with him. The product of your marriage should be unity in worship. Not cute little Pinterest projects, not perfectly mannered children, not a perfect church attendance record, but a true, heartfelt, God centered life that is a perfume of praise to God daily. You’re not “waiting on the perfect man to cut in on your dance with God”. You’re holding out for the one man/woman God chooses to join the dance with him. The right “one” won’t cut in on your time with God, but will melt into your time with him and take the worship/praise/prayer/study higher. Then you will jointly, as one person, worship and fellowship with God.

3. “Because if you know who he is, you’ll give him your heart before he has earned it.”

Usually I have a conversation with God every other week that goes like this:

Me: God, I know you want me to be single right now for a reason. I’m cool with that. But I’m lonely. And impatient.

God: You can’t be married yet because you aren’t ready. I’m only protecting you.

Me: I know, I know, I’m totally not ready. But can you just tell me the guy’s name? Something about him? A detail so I’ll know him when I see him?

God: *crickets*

He’s never answered me before, until a few days ago.

Me: God, who is he?

God: I can’t tell you.

Me: Why?

God: Because if you know who he is, you’ll give him your heart before he has earned it.

Phew… God is so cool, guys. That answer blew my mind. I got to thinking on it and realized God was totally right. If God told me my husband’s name alone, I would begin a ravenous hunt for him including an in-depth facebook search & stalk session. I would totally try to develop relationships with men simply based on a name and my flawed human judgment. If he told me the guy is a plumber, I’d be creating leaks everywhere hoping to find the right one. If he told me the guy goes to my church…well you could imagine the chaos that would ensue.

If God told me who he is I would automatically trust that guy. I would automatically begin to view him as my husband and let him lead me. He may not even be ready to be a husband yet, but I would already let him have authority over me, I would lower my guard and probably try to begin a relationship with him — all prematurely. Knowing he’s my husband, I may even cross purity standards I’ve set for myself, and practically wash away all courtship rules and standards I had planned. I wouldn’t allow him to pursue me or capture my heart because I’d already have my mind made up he was mine, and I’m his. And guess what? Just like God said, he wouldn’t have any room to earn my heart. I would take all of the work (and pleasure) out of his part of the relationship. He wouldn’t have to prove himself to me. He wouldn’t have to earn my trust or demonstrate his leadership abilities. He wouldn’t have to honor my purity standards or build my confidence in him. He would already have my heart on a silver platter without doing anything to earn it.

You know what that tells me? God loves me. He cares about my heart and who it goes to. And he wants the guy, whoever he is, to earn it. Which also tells me God wants my future spouse to prove to him he’s worthy of my heart. And that tells me another thing — God thinks my heart is pretty special. It’s important enough to be earned.

And this guy – whoever he is – God expects him to work for it. To win me. To woo me. To earn my love. And you know what? It’s my job as a woman to ALLOW this guy to earn it. It’s my privilege as a woman to be pursued, not the pursuer. To be spoiled, pampered, adored, cherished, supported, to be loved. We often forget this as women. We see twinkle lights and broach bouquets and want the fairy tale now. But God wants you to expect to be pursued. Expect to be loved. Expect to be cherished. Expect the guy, whoever yours may be, to earn your love. Don’t just give it away. He’s got something to prove to you, God, and himself – and that’s a part of him developing self-confidence as a man. Don’t take that away from God. Don’t take that away from him. Don’t take it away from yourself.

To sum it up, “The One” is a product of fiction. It’s a fantasy we’ve created based on years of personal expectation, romantic disappointment and Hollywood-Disneyland-classic-romance-novel-Social-Media propaganda. There is a right person out there for you, God designed you two to be together, yes. God wants you two to be happy together, yes. God wants you guys to have a wonderful life, yes. But not at God’s expense. And not as the fulfillment of some impossible standard we’ve created. Disappointment is imminent as long as you hold your future spouse to an impossible, unachievable image (which is idolatry, btw). It’s no wonder divorce rates are so high, it’s also no wonder that 80% of divorces are filed by women. Could that be because we are so easily dissatisfied once we find out that marriage is not the princess-love-swirling-fairy-dust-Disney-movie we thought it would be? God did intent for love to be a story, but not a fantasy. He intended for it to be his story. The most beautiful story he could think of, written expressly for you! Don’t settle for the world’s version of romance. Don’t sit around waiting for “The One”.

Enjoy The One — Jesus Christ, your one true love, and allow him to choose who earns your heart. Then, sit back and prepare to be woo’d. :)


I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—  and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.  I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. – 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (NIV)


DEVOTIONAL: Dream, Dream, Dream


I daydream a lot. In fact, for a very rough patch of my life all I did was daydream. I would create online shopping carts filled with stuff I was gonna buy *someday* when I had the money. I would browse houses I would *someday* live in. I would pin stuff on Pinterest, activities to do with the kids I would have *someday*. Sweet little things I would do for my husband…you guessed it… *someday*. Don’t even get me started about the wedding plans. I’m not going to admit that I sent off for free samples of return address labels…using my sister’s boyfriend’s brother (whom I didn’t know) as the name for the “groom”.

Do you remember that old Britney Spears perfume commercial? Fantasy….Everybody has one.

I created an entire make-believe world in my head that I desperately wanted to live in. I spent hours imagining future conversations, future people, future places. And by comparison, the life I was actually living never stacked up. It wasn’t enough that I had shelter, food, a family, an enriching spiritual life…I had set a standard of what I wanted, what I thought I needed, all in my head. And until it materialized in front of me, I would never be happy. Can you relate?

I also had another problem. Bad thoughts. Now mind you, I’ve had this plague of terrible thoughts my whole life, basically. But at that point in my life, I was a devoted new Christian and feeling the ever increasing guilt of my sinful thoughts. And we’re not just talking a few judgmental thoughts here. Even my therapist told me “You’re at war with yourself.” To get a little bit Joyce Myer-y up in here, it was a battlefield of the mind.

2 Corinthians 10:5 says:

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

The word “imaginations” here means computation, reasoning, imagination, thought; to take inventory, estimate, despise, esteem, impute, lay, number, reason, reckon, suppose, think on. A broader definition of the root word included a word that shocked me – work.

Now, I’m not a biblical scholar or anything, but to me this was shocking. I expected the word “imaginations” to be like “fantasy”. But God surprised me with His Word. This automatically reminded me of the commercial for “I Don’t Know How She Does It”…the one in which the mother, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, lays down at night and formulates a list of everything she has to do the next day. We all can relate to that. So as clearly as I can visualize the meaning of “imaginations”, that’s it. The list we all create, the reasoning, the plotting, the planning. The toil of constantly analyzing our lives to see if it is what we thought it should be, and how to get there. The draining, meticulous criticism of ourselves. So perhaps daydreams aren’t really daydreams? Maybe they are our own self-depreciating “fix it!” button.

I didn’t get my education {daydream I’m a college professor} fixed!

My husband left me {daydream I exact revenge on him by getting a hot, younger boyfriend} fixed!

My grades suck {daydream I quit school because I’ve become a famous musician} fixed!

Daydreams are the product of stacking up your life to a list of unrealistic expectations. The Bible says to cast down imaginations! Stop chasing and overanalyzing everything, plotting and planning to achieve something you don’t even know is in God’s plan for you! It’s okay to have goals and dreams. It is perfectly wonderful to have ambition. But it is not okay to escape to some perfect world every time you whip out that list and find it is not finished.

I used to justify my heavy daydreaming by saying it was an act of faith. You know, “I’m dreaming about all this stuff in this ModCloth shopping cart because I have faith God will give it to me!” Wrongo!

Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. – James 2:17

Your dreams (let me clarify, BIG goals) are not going to accomplish themselves. Let me preach to the choir of myself, “Jeryn, you are not going to become the owner of a successful company by only posting four times a year. You aren’t going to run a successful non-profit from your couch.” You can believe all day until you are blue in the face, but God will rarely poof what you want into your lap. We must work at it. And isn’t that what real faith is? I’m confident that I have it before I see it, therefore I work like I already have it!

When I’m a dreamer, I have goals that match my faith, and I work at them. Even if my expectations are crazy to my friends, family, coworkers, I know that they are reachable because of Christ. An example of this would be Joseph, found in Genesis. God gave him huge ambitions and lofty goals to accomplish. Become ruler over your entire family…. who, me?? But Joseph knew that with God’s aid, he would fulfill all the plans God had created for his life. He also put his nose to the grindstone and accomplished every task sent his way. He became Pharaoh’s right hand man.

When I’m a daydreamer, I set high, sometimes unreasonable goals without checking with God to see if they line up with his plan for me. Then I pursue those dreams passively, never working, only fantasizing. Any work I do attempt to accomplish them is short lived. I procrastinate and use my dreams as an escape from life. I find daydreaming extremely enjoyable and often find myself wondering where the time went.

To further drive home the point about the difference between daydreaming and being a dreamer, here are some scriptures:

Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin, for their hands refuse to work. – Proverbs 21:25 (KJV)

Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense. – Proverbs 2:11 (NIV)

√ Imaginations. What’s next? Oh, right, “and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God.”

Because there was no definition in the Greek for this use of “high”, I can only wing it. Cast down anything that promotes itself above God’s truth. If you’re thinking about your unattainable Pinterest wedding when you should be praying, cast it down. If you’re reflecting on your future Oscar-winning role alongside Brad Pitt when you should be studying the Word, cast it down. If you’re applying to a your choice college when you know God is leading you to go somewhere else, cast it down. If you’re using your own superior intellect to navigate a tough situation, cast it down. If you’re fantasizing about conversations you’re going to arrange with your crush when you know you’re unequally yoked, cast it down.

and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

We should measure every single thought against the standard of Christ. Good or bad, every thought must be arrested by Jesus. We have to train our minds to think how Christ thinks, what Christ thinks, when he thinks it. (See Romans 12:12) It’s not easy, and I’m still learning, but the benefits of letting go and relying upon pure, noble, and true thoughts (Phil. 4:8) far outweigh the loss you will feel when you give up your fantasy world.

Why are our thoughts so important, you ask?

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. – Proverbs 23:7 (KJV)

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. – Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

You become what you think. In Hebrew, and in the Bible accordingly, the word “heart” and “mind” are mostly interchangeable. The “heart” (not the blood-pumping organ) is the center of emotions, and it resides in the mind. It’s all jumbled in there with your thoughts.

If everything that I think becomes my life….if all of my thoughts become actions…then I become what I think…I become what I say. My life is shaped by what I think. Your life is shaped by what you think. Your entire reality, your day to day grind is put into motion by your own thoughts. Does that mean that if you think only good things, only good things will happen? No! Because you can’t control the actions of others. But it does mean that if you think only good things, you will handle the negative thrown at you with a sense of vigor, peace, and perseverance.

So how do I cast down these imaginations, ditch this fantasy world and get back to the beautiful reality God has planned for me?

Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. – Matthew 18:18

Those words are written in red, and you know what that means….yep, straight from the mouth of Jesus. He has given us authority to bind (forbid by an indisputable authority, which is God), and to loose (permit by an indisputable authority, which is God).

Have you ever played “Red light, Green light”? This children’s game promotes one player as the authority, the guy in charge, and this guy/girl has the power to tell the kids “GO” and “STOP”, giving them instructions by shouting “RED LIGHT!” (stop) and “GREEN LIGHT” (go).

We have authority, given to us by Jesus himself, to permit (green light) or forbid (stop) anything. Yes, anything. Spirits? red light. Evil thoughts? red light. Harmful people? red light. Not evil-but-still-kinda-innapropriate thoughts? red light. We have the empowerment to command our circumstances. We have the power to pick what we think!

You have the ability to take your thoughts captive in the name of Jesus. When a thought pops up, weigh it against the life of Jesus Christ and if it doesn’t stack up to him, bind it in Jesus’ name. Cast it out in Jesus’ name. Arrest those thoughts, daydreams, lists, schemes, inappropriate fantasies. You don’t have to live with them.

I invite you to become a DREAMER, rather than a DAYDREAMER. I invite you to take all of your thoughts captive by the authority of Jesus. I dare you to compare your thoughts to Jesus and arrest them using HIS name. Watch your mind, heart, and life change. God has so much better in store for you!

Who needs daydreams when your REAL future is so so bright?

Love is Dead.


Love is dead.

Everywhere I go and in everything I see – love is dead. When I walk down the street, I hear cursing and lies – I smell fear, unhapiness, despiration…death. When I go into a public place I see people, absent mindedly rushing to buy. To sell. Time dwindling as the clock spins faster and faster; pages of the calendar flipping swifter than a bird flying to it’s hungry squalling chicks.

The outlook is bleak, to be honest. What do you see when you look out your window? Do you see people helping one another, neighbors extending kindness and caring without condition of repayment or returned weed-eaters? I see selfishness. I see secret judgements passed in the comfort of a dark corner in the mind. I see covetness.

Life is beyond the car you can’t have and the house you want. Have you been to a store lately? Black Fiday sales, people literally killing one another to score a $10 blender. Is this what the human race has been reduced to? Surely the Creator had bigger plans when he created us.

We’re dust. But must we act like it all the time? Can we not scrounge up some compassion? Can’t we squeeze out a drop of humanity? All we can muster is a courteous handshake at the annual blockparty, followed immediately by a wetwipe. This is what society has become. America in particular, but the same principal applies to all nations. The Middle East is in termoil. Always has been. India, China, South America. People are in pain. People are hurting. People are in need. Where is love when you need it?

The 60’s marked the age of free love. Although it wasn’t exactly love. It was lust that became the springboard for a campaign of one sexual and moral escepade after another. It was lust that championed the revolt over war. It was lust that became the mountain which avalanched into mass back-room abortions, countless gatherings – excuses to get naked and burn flags (a thing the radicals refered to as “protests”), and collapsed onto a road which became known as “political correctness”.

A monumental disservice has been done to this country and every other. We have forgotten what love is. Is it packages of senseless expensive electronics and jewellry packaged in shiny paper? Is it a kiss on the cheek, subsequently wiped off? Is it a tipsy climb up the stairs to an apartment bedroom with a man you barely know?

Walking through a store, often times I catch myself say “I LOVE THAT!” in reference to a piece of furniture or clothing. Can I truly love a thing? Or do I just like it? Do I just admire it because I believe it will give me temporary satisfaction. That my eyes will be appeased and my hands will be busy for a moment; and for that moment, I will be happy.

Love does not come in a wide variety of color and style options. Love doesn’t have a price sticker on it, and will not become half price after Christmas. It doesn’t curse at you when you steal its taxi on a crowded street when it’s raining, and it most certainly doesn’t invite you into it’s apartment for “drinks” after one date.

Love isn’t a red dress with a slit so high you can see places your mother used to diaper. No, love is not a car with genuine leather seats and 5 cup-holders. Love isn’t a story in which man meets woman on a train and falls hopelessly head first over the course of 120 minutes. It doesn’t carry a brand name and you won’t be able to find a gift box big enough to contain it.

And, if that’s what you think love is, well, LOVE IS DEAD.

Love is beautiful. But you already knew that. It’s also ugly. And bloody. And ripped. Torn, disheveled. Broken. Dead.

It is a man on a cross with blood spewing out of wounds deeper than any dress slit. A man nailed to a cross you can’t fit onto a necklace or package in a gift box or hang on your wall. And actual cross. Sometimes we forget that. That it’s real.

Love is a man, who has the power to do everything, yet does nothing to save himself because he cares so deeply for you. No, love is not a word you say or something you demonstrate by racking up credit card bills.

Love is a body ripped to shreds and a crown of thorns. Love is a face so mangled it can no longer be recognized as human. Love is immense pain and torment suffered at the hands of mockers. Love is being spat on to defend the one you care most for. Love is leaving the 99 sheep to search for the one. Love is taking on the burden of the entire world because it can no longer hold it. Love is carrying a 300 pound cross up a mountain, only to die on it, while carrying millions of tons of sins on your back, when you’ve never done anything wrong in your short life. Love is doing what makes you uncomfortable for the sake of others. Love is paying a debt you can’t pay. Love wore a crown.

Love is a man. And love is dead.



“He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.”

– Matthew 28:4


Love has vacated his tomb and placed an eviction notice on death. Love is dead no more, for the maker, holder, and manifestation of love is ALIVE.



Why aren’t you?


“But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” – Matthew 4:4
Bread is food. It is what we rely on to satisfy us when we’re hungry. When our stomachs are empty, we rely on food to fill us up. I wonder what other things we rely on to fill us up when we feel empty?
In a way, you could say “Man shall not live by video games alone” or “woman shall not live by man alone”, “man shall not live …by facebook alone”, “woman shall not live by text messages alone”. We use these things to fill ourselves up when our souls are hungry. But we’re never truly satisfied. The words that come from God’s mouth is the only thing that can sustain us. Which leads me to the question…
What is YOUR bread? The thing you’re trying to fill yourself up on instead of consuming God’s words…. the TV you turn to when your soul needs rest….the facebook feed you scroll through when you are bored and seeking an answer…the man or woman who’s arms or text messages you turn to when you feel lonely.
What is your bread? “And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.” – John 6:35



The funny thing about doubt is, it’s sneaky. It begins as a question, and then like a termite in a lumber yard it becomes a ravenous posse, seemingly impossible to stop.

Suddenly, your simple, innocent question has become a full-on war in your head. This is especially evident in our relationships with God. A question as simple as “Why do you allow bad things to happen to good people?” becomes the doubt that God is real. Instead of asking why people do bad things, we question our Creator like a suspect in a crime drama.

doubt: uncertainty about the truth, fact, or existence of something


Now, sin is extremely similar to doubt. In fact, some may say doubt is a sin. Sin is a disease – a sickness. Adam, the father of all us humans, was the first to become infected. And, through his lineage we all have this disease. Worse than plague, worse than polio, worse than leprosy even. Why? Because it infects you internally, the parts of you modern medicine cannot accurately fix. In reeks havoc on your mind, your heart, and your soul.  Because it’s not something easily noticeable. Its become normal and it’s a part of our lives.

Sin, in its simplest form, is falling short of perfection. There are millions of ways to be imperfect, but there is only one way to be perfect. And because of this brain-heart-soul eating disease, sin, we are incapable of doing it. We can’t. It’s impossible.

But wait!

Jesus, a man who was never infected  with this highly contagious disease, was able to achieve perfection. Why? Because he’s God in flesh pajamas. God knew pretty quickly after hanging out with us for a while that we could not achieve perfection and be like him because we’re sick. So he, in his beautiful mercy, decided he’d live perfectly for us, like a brilliant scientist in a laboratory creating an antidote. Then he gave us this cure, this antidote, this miracle cure-all serum he created, in the form of his blood as he lay dying on the Cross. Not only that, but while he was at it, he decided to carry all our emotional, physical, and mental baggage as he went through the death we all ultimately should have had. You see, like any other disease, sin eats away at you until you eventually concede and die.

A lot of people are overwhelmed by this information. I, myself, would sometimes rather believe that I did not cause the death of an innocent man. That my imperfection did not soil his perfection. But, like a super hero in a blockbuster action flick, if Jesus had not given his life as a cure to my disease, I would not be alive to write this. I guess some people cannot understand or fathom the love, the determination, the sheer God-given ability it would take for one man to do this for mankind. So they rule it out as a possibility. Other people may accept this information, but become confused about ‘discrepancies’ or ‘errors’ in the Bible, so they determine they can no longer believe what it says.

You know those scenes in treasure hunting movies, where the brilliant anthropologist has removed something ancient and valuable from a booby-trap, and must quickly replace it with something of the same weight or they’ll be crushed by a giant bolder?

That’s what happened on the cross.

Jesus Christ is the something of value. He’s taken on our sin and our grief and our everything yucky. He’s on the cross. We would like to remove his righteousness from that cross and run off into the Mayan Jungle with it and claim it as our own. But we must first replace what we take with something that is of great weight.

Our faith.

faith: confidence or trust in a person or thing


We put our faith on that Cross, (actually, what He did for us on that cross), and we take his righteousness.

Your doubt is normal. Because we are deeply flawed and broken individuals, it is normal for us to question God. His ways, his Word, his Son…these are things we will never fully understand. But taking on Jesus’s righteousness, becoming free from that disease called sin, and walking into a new life of purpose and joy is going to take faith. You will never have it all figured out. You will never know everything. You, like a secret agent in clandestine government missions, will only be told what you need to know.

But don’t ever let that stifle you or cause you to doubt in God. He is real. He is alive. He cares for you. He has the antidote. You only have to believe that is true to receive it and change your life. You will have questions. You will wonder. You will not ever be perfect. That’s okay. If you have a question, if you have a doubt – ask God to give you the knowledge to understand. Ask him to give you the faith to believe, even when you don’t have all the answers.

You didn’t start believing in the first place for no reason. What was it that got you believing in the first place? Personally, I had been taught my whole life God was real. I just assumed it was true. At a church service one night (we usually only went on holidays) the presence of God became so tangible, so real, so undeniable, that I could not stay the same after experiencing it. And that’s when I knew for myself. Without anyone’s guidance or direction, I knew that He is real, and that I must be apart of Him and what he’s about. Forever. Nobody cajoled me, no one spoke to me…I don’t remember what the preacher said. I have no idea what songs they sang. It was simply God’s presence, all by itself.

Remember, it is so much easier to not believe. It is so much easier to give up. It is so easy to bow out and reject God’s love. Because we aren’t used to it, it’s foreign to us. But I promise, and I know from experience, even your worst day with Jesus will be better than your best day without Him. He is so worth it. Faith is so worth it. Heaven is so worth it. And you are worth it.

Scriptures to reference (you can click on them to read immediately):

Romans 5 / Romans 3:22-26 / Jude 1:22 / Matthew 14:31 / Hosea 10:2  / Matthew 19:25-26

Think about the famous prodigal son. He started wondering, ‘What am I doing here?’ “Why do I live like this?” he doubted that the life his father gave him was truly the right one. You may wonder if Jesus is truly God, or if God actually does exist. If you’re believing in vain. But the same doubtful child returned to his father, whose arms were wide open to receive him. In the end you may find yourself once again saying ‘What am I doing here?’ “Why do I live like this?” in your life of disbelief. You can always come home.

Jesus loves you and so do I.

What does it mean? [To Keep the Sabbath]

What does it mean?

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

It’s the fourth commandment, a super important one – one that most of us already-saved people don’t give much thought to. We think that by keeping the Sabbath holy, we’re supposed to go to church, and in going to church on Sunday we are keeping it holy.

But have you ever wondered how to really keep the Sabbath?

In Hebrew, the word Sabbath means “rest, interruption, cease, sit sill, loss of time.” We cease from working on the 7th day of the week because God stopped His work on the 7th day of the week.

I used to think that meant assembling together at church, then coming home, kicking back with the family and some fried chicken, watching TV, taking a nap and waking up to do it all over again next week.

There’s a lot more to it than that….

Isaiah 58:13-14 says:

If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:
Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

To keep the Sabbath holy, (holy: to consecrate and make separate and special) we’ve got to honor God with how we spend our time. It’s not just about getting a break from work (which is still really important) or spending time eating with family (also a good thing!). But rather it is about showing God we appreciate and love him by what we do on the Sabbath.

Ignoring our own pleasures, desires, wants, and “gimme-gimme’s”, puts our flesh (human flaw maker) on the back burner and allows God’s Spirit to be more effective within us, and externally. For example, I realllllly don’t like getting up early. My human nature would rather sleep in instead of getting up in the morning for church. But when I ignore that “five more minutes” voice in my head and go to church anyway to honor God and thank Him for His many blessings in my life, that is keeping the Sabbath holy. Or when, after church, I have to help my mom around the house. I’d rather be selfish, lock myself in my room and do what I want. Have ‘ME’ time. But I know God would be pleased with me if I did the right thing and helped out.

Our attitude is another huge part of keeping the Sabbath. The scripture says to “call the Sabbath a delight“. We’re not honoring God when we grumble and complain about the Sabbath, when we get aggravated because we’re behind on work and can’t finish because it’s a day of rest. Or when we want to hang out with friends instead of going to church. Or even when we’re complaining because it’s Sunday the day before – MONDAY. Dun dun dun.

We are called to “Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name” (Psalm 100:4). When we act as if we’re doing God a favor just by showing up and singing a song, we’re not honoring the Sabbath and keeping it holy.

Watching what you say is more than just a matter of etiquette, it’s a matter of spiritual growth. If I sit around all Sunday long talking about myself, preaching sermons of my own invention, making fun of others, or faking my way through worship service – I’m not honoring God and I’m not going to grow in my relationship with him, or in my life’s success. Our words bring life and death (Proverbs 18:21), and we harvest the fruit that our words produce.

Spending God’s holy day, the day we are meant to share with him in fellowship and communication, on stupid earthly pleasures, selfishness and meaningless talk doesn’t just hurt you, it hurts God, too. He intended for the Sabbath to be a ‘date night’ for you and He to refresh you, revive you, and to gain a closer relationship with you.

When we put aside these distractions and spend the day doing what pleases God, we make room for ourselves to truly experience and enjoy God’s goodness. The scripture says God will then cause us to ride high and inherit the promises of Jacob!

Our human side (the flesh) is just a coat, a jacket or robe that we wear over our souls. We were never intended to live in them 24/7, rather than physically shed them like some crazy horror movie scene, we have to take breaks often so we can reach our full potential and become everything God destined us to be. God is a spirit, and he doesn’t have conversations with our flesh, only with our spirits, which he uses to reveal his mysteries, secrets, plans, and heart. With our focus on Jesus during the Sabbath, we are able to push the ‘PAUSE’ button on our human nature, and communicate with God on a deep, spiritual level without the daily distractions in our way.

Bottom line:

On the Sabbath we should a.) keep a positive attitude, b.) speak words of life and wisdom, c.) honor God with our actions – everything we do on this day should honor God…and that is how we keep the Sabbath holy.

Dear Christian women:  

Please stop acting like your only aspiration or function in life is to be brother so-and so’s wife. It is so sad to see appointed women and young women of God traipsing around church reciting Proverbs 31 and twirling their hair waiting on some hunky apostle Paul in a BMW. Young ladies of God especially, begging and pleading, day-dreaming, waiting, for a boy in pastoral school to pray with and have marriage Bible-studies with,
a man who will be worthy to ‘cut in on the dance with your heavenly father’.
There was only one man who was worthy enough to cut in on your dance with your heavenly father. His name was Jesus Christ.
  You were CREATED to be FIRST a daughter of God and a SERVANT of Christ.
You were not CREATED to be Mrs. So-and So or Pastor So-and So’s wife.
You were CREATED to be a beautiful and adored daughter of God and a warrior of prayer and praise in his army.
At the end of time when you stand before your Savior, you will not be judged based on who your husband was, how many things you made off of your Pinterest, how good your pecan pie was, how many crochet crosses you made in Children’s Church, or how well your children were homeschooled.
  The things that we as Christian women have idolized and made important will no longer matter. Our husbands will no longer be our husbands. Our children will no longer be our children. Our well highlighted collection of Bibles will be abandoned in our well-maintained houses. And we will be left standing before our creator, who will be saying ‘I tried to give you more of me, but you were holding on to that.’
  The most important thing in the universe, the most important and meaningful thing you will EVER do, is put Jesus Christ at the forefront and center of your affections, heart, and mind, and make him number one over your life. Husbands and children and grandchildren are great, biblical homemaking is great, but they are not to take the place of a deep, affectionate, intimate, life-changing, trail-blazing, life-saving, love-giving, endless, all-consuming, eternal, passionate relationship with your heavenly father and maker.
For your maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name – your redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, he is called ‘the God of all the earth’. (Isaiah 54:5)
  God didn’t create you to be a wife. Or a mother. Those are benefits of his favor upon your life. He created you simply to love him and be loved by him. If you hold on to some perfect idolization of human marriage and miss out on your love story with him, you will be left with an unfulfilled soul and broken heart.
Don’t spend your short time on earth waiting for some man and a sugar-coated fantasy of Christian life.
Your prince has already come.